Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
