we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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