We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize