Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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