I'm really into asian looking animals
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
