What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
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btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
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BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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