Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
