Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
