Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
