he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
