saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
