Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
