Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
