If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
