i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
