i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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