Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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