Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
