It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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