So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
