That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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