im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
