I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
