i just had sex bonerless
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
