Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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