bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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