either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
