Pregnant stripper...not hot.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
