Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
