i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
