yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
