Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
