do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
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I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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