If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
