so that wasnt chicken after all
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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