Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
