You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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