good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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