that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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