If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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