so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
