Just fell off a train. Bad.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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