mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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