You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
