By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
