I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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