Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
