Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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