after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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