piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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