Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
