drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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