I love black thongs
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
