So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
