Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
