I want to make a zoo with you.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It's just like the Real World with babies
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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