I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
