I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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