my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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