you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
