Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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